They think it’s all over…

And to be fair, they’ve got a point.

What a fantastic World Cup… OK, England were pants, but when we all switched allegiance to Costa Rica and Algeria things started picking up a bit. And Holland (everyone’s second team) looked good until the final straight. 

But that was all so long ago now, right? And there is one question on everyone’s lips… who won the LOLA Classic? I shan’t keep you in suspenders any longer. Read ’em and weep:

  • 1. Aherninho 115
  • 2. Fioninho 104
  • 3. Wilson 103
  • 4. Jeanho Bele 96
  • 4. Macarena 96
  • 6. Martinho 94
  • 6. Roberto 94
  • 8. Basildinho 79
  • 9. El Jeffe 78

It only remains for me to thank you all for playing, and thank you for the correspondence throughout. My ego is duly stroked.

We should do this again sometime… I don’t want to wait until France 2016, so I’ll see you in September 2015 for the Rugby World Cup (I mean, it’s a kind of football, right? How hard can it be!)

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Bye bye Brazil

Well, at least the Brazilian people have the satisfaction of knowing that the German result wasn’t a fluke.

Yes, another night of abject surrender by the Brazilians; I actually fell asleep in the second half, so I apologise if I’m unduly dismissive. But then if they had been any good I WOULDN’T HAVE FALLEN ASLEEP, am I right?

The German pummelling was quite something, wasn’t it! Boys versus men. I don’t know why all those Brazilian fans were crying, they were witnessing a little bit of history: you lose 1-0, you’re out of the World Cup and it’s all a bit meh; you lose 7-1 and that’s something you can tell the grandchildren about.

It was proper car-crash TV; you couldn’t look away no matter how horrifying it was. I said to Fioninho it was like watching the Harlem Globetrotters in an exhibition match; I was waiting for one of them to hide the ball up his jersey and for them to play Sweet Georgia Brown over the tannoy.

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Sideshow Bob/David Luiz

So how did it happen? There has been a lot of talk about the lack of Neymar, but that wasn’t the problem. The Brazilian players might THINK it was the lack of Neymar, but that’s avoiding the real issues. The blame has to start with Scolari – when you see the formation is not working, really really not working, you have to change it. What position was Marcelo playing? If I was being generous I would say wing-back, but it certainly wasn’t full-back nor winger and really any position that keeps you out of the way of the ball is probably not terrifically useful. And David Luiz (or Sideshow Bob to the Simpsons fans) had a stinker: slow, spiritless and ineffective. And captain! Good call.

At 2-0 I said to Fioninho “You watch, the Germans will just sit back now and soak it up”. But how wrong, how very wrong I was. To be honest I think they probably meant to sit back, but just kept finding themselves in goalscoring opportunities and, well, it would be rude not to. They did look a bit embarrassed to score at one point.

I was amused how a number of the Brazilian players crossed themselves or said prayers AFTER the match. Bit late for that, I thought. Unless they were praying for safe passage home maybe.

Les scores sur les portes

So, just before we go into the final two matches, here are the current standings, post the semi-finals and including bonus scores and fully amortised to include seasonal adjustment:

  • 1. Aherninho 104
  • 2. Wilson 100
  • 3. Fioninho 93
  • 4. Martinho 91
  • 5. Macarena 88
  • 5. Jeanho Bele 88
  • 7. Roberto 83
  • 8. El Jeffe 78
  • 9. Basildinho 73